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Twilight, the latest teenaged chick flick based on the novels by the oddly spelled Stephenie Meyer, is fucking weird to me. A teenaged girl falls in love with a non-blood drinking vampire who hasn't aged since 1918... okay here's the problem.
What the fuck is a man 110 years old going to be attracted to in a teenaged girl? Speaking as a healthy, hetero bloke less than half that age, yuck! Yeah, I'm married to someone 16.5 years younger than me, but even that has its' moments of dissonance.
So is this vampire guy just into young pussy or what? 110 years of life is going to give someone a certain level of wisdom and a wry, long-term perspective on humanity. Remember Barack Obama's speech when he spoke of Ann Nixon Cooper's life and the changes she has seen in her 106 years? Can you see someone with a similar view on history cruising for teenaged girls unless there's something seriously screwed up inside them? A sane and healthy non-blood guzzling vampire would have much more in common with Ann Nixon Cooper than some simpering teenaged girl. Someone who grew up listening to ragtime 78s on a wind-up Victrola isn't going to deeply click with a Katie Perry fan with i-pod buds in her lug-holes. How's he going to chat with her about how shocked he was with the whole Fatty Arbuckle thing? Or how he's as excited by the 2008 election as he was in 1920 when Republican Warren G. Harding defeated Democrat James M. Cox and Socialist Eugene V. Debs in the first US election where women could vote?
Nah, this vampire of Stephenie Meyers, Edward Cullen, just has to be a rock spider.
What the fuck is a man 110 years old going to be attracted to in a teenaged girl? Speaking as a healthy, hetero bloke less than half that age, yuck! Yeah, I'm married to someone 16.5 years younger than me, but even that has its' moments of dissonance.
So is this vampire guy just into young pussy or what? 110 years of life is going to give someone a certain level of wisdom and a wry, long-term perspective on humanity. Remember Barack Obama's speech when he spoke of Ann Nixon Cooper's life and the changes she has seen in her 106 years? Can you see someone with a similar view on history cruising for teenaged girls unless there's something seriously screwed up inside them? A sane and healthy non-blood guzzling vampire would have much more in common with Ann Nixon Cooper than some simpering teenaged girl. Someone who grew up listening to ragtime 78s on a wind-up Victrola isn't going to deeply click with a Katie Perry fan with i-pod buds in her lug-holes. How's he going to chat with her about how shocked he was with the whole Fatty Arbuckle thing? Or how he's as excited by the 2008 election as he was in 1920 when Republican Warren G. Harding defeated Democrat James M. Cox and Socialist Eugene V. Debs in the first US election where women could vote?
Nah, this vampire of Stephenie Meyers, Edward Cullen, just has to be a rock spider.
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