terryfrost (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
terryfrost) wrote2005-08-17 10:50 pm
terryfrost) wrote2005-08-17 10:50 pm
My Father's Birthday
Today is my father's birthday - he'll be 74. He was born in the same year that James Whale made the movie Frankenstein.
He raped my mother any number of times during their relationship. He killed one of my sisters who lived to be a severely handicapped four year old after he kicked my mother in the stomach during the pregnancy. But for him, I'd have a third sister in her mid-forties now. I haven't seen him in over a quarter of a century but I know where he lives. What must it be like to father children, then have a negative impact on them to that degree?
Neither he, nor my brother the career criminal will ever read this. But if archive.org are still archiving the Internet, I want this to be part of it. There has to be some sort of record. He's lived seventy years longer than Ann-Marie did. It was only a few years ago that my mother told me the full story about my firstborn sister. Up until then, I thought she'd been stillborn. I've come to terms with many things about being beaten and psychologically abused by my father but this fact is still raw and weeping pus for me. He killed my sister and got away with a small sentence at the time. A couple or three years later, he gained custody of his two sons.
So this truth is the birthday present. Not to him, to me.
The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there. - L P Hartley.
He raped my mother any number of times during their relationship. He killed one of my sisters who lived to be a severely handicapped four year old after he kicked my mother in the stomach during the pregnancy. But for him, I'd have a third sister in her mid-forties now. I haven't seen him in over a quarter of a century but I know where he lives. What must it be like to father children, then have a negative impact on them to that degree?
Neither he, nor my brother the career criminal will ever read this. But if archive.org are still archiving the Internet, I want this to be part of it. There has to be some sort of record. He's lived seventy years longer than Ann-Marie did. It was only a few years ago that my mother told me the full story about my firstborn sister. Up until then, I thought she'd been stillborn. I've come to terms with many things about being beaten and psychologically abused by my father but this fact is still raw and weeping pus for me. He killed my sister and got away with a small sentence at the time. A couple or three years later, he gained custody of his two sons.
So this truth is the birthday present. Not to him, to me.
The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there. - L P Hartley.
no subject
Of of the guys at work used to be a guard at a womeen's prison, and may -- most -- of the inmates were or had been involved in violent relationships. In many cases it had lead to them being charged for a crime that was facilitated by the other partner. Everyone does so much damage to each other.